Love
Too much love.
Planning. A different college every day. Every day.
Back to my home town. Back to my college. Back to my roots.
Back to old friends and too much traffic. Back to kinda knowing where everything is located. Kinda.
Back to Hollywood. To meetings. To face my novel. To face my successes and my failures.
Back to face the first day of the rest of my life.
Pulling myself in every direction. Everyday. No where to hide. I want a hiding place. I need a hiding place.
I need a few peaceful days with my son. Laughing days. Relaxed days. Trendy nights.
Sunshine and smog. Cement and sea. Celebrities and smiling skinny girls. Blond girls.
Too many.
Too much.
Colleges and Los Angeles.
It's amazing, isn't it, that we can drive backwards into our own past by driving back to the places we once lived. I feel the same way when I go to Tucson, like I might just run into the eighteen-year-old me schlepping a big backpack around campus and trying to figure out what her major should be.
ReplyDeleteOh, college visits. They dredge up so much stuff for a parent, at least they did for me too. Bittersweet. Happy for the kid, sad to lose them to their own lives. Then the inevitable trip backwards to when we were at that point. And to go back to your old territory, well, could it get more loaded??
ReplyDeleteGood luck, and I know you'll enjoy the time with your son; he'll remember it always.
I've yet to go on a college visit with my son. So far it's been Dad's job. Oh, the emotions. Plus going back to your old stomping grounds and meeting on your novel? Wine should definitely involved. Have fun and enjoy the quality time with your son!
ReplyDeleteI feel better already just hearing your bright, clear voices. Thank you
ReplyDeleteWe're going with you, my friend. Know that. We're going with you.
ReplyDeleteWe get it and feel it and feel for you as you live it.
Judy
I can't wait to hear the stories from your trip. I still have vivid memories of a college visiting trip I went on with my mom, right down to the blueberry pancakes we ate at one of the B&Bs we stayed in. I hope your trip is filled with many wonderful new memories for you and your son, even as you feel like you're driving into your past and his future.
ReplyDeleteHey, just checking in to see how you are. Miss your words and hope all is well...
ReplyDeletexo