A strange thing happened today. I wanted to spend the day with my husband. I wanted to leave the kids at home. This hasn’t happened in, well, in forever. I have always seized the moments of ‘family’ time and enjoyed sharing all my experiences with my children.
Today, on a rainy San Francisco Sunday, I had no desire for the kids to be part of my lazy day with my hubby. We had a plan. We drove to Sausalito and sat in a cozy bar at a hotel that sits at the base of the Golden Gate.
Heat lamps and warm blankets adorn the patio seating suggesting everyday is winter at the base of the Golden Gate. Tom and I wandered inside and warmed our wet toes on a roaring fire. I sipped peppermint tea and dined on a Dungeness crab BLT. It felt deliciously decadent. And I didn’t miss the kids for a moment.
When we climbed back to the car I told Tom how great it was to be just the two of us. I told him I didn’t even miss the kids. He didn’t either.
We drove back home in silence. What had suddenly changed in me that I didn’t need my children to make me feel complete and why did this happen today? Don’t get me wrong; I was delighted to open the front door to their smiling faces. But for the first time I had not invited them to join us.
In fact, I didn’t even tell them where we were headed. I just escaped. And I had a lovely day with my husband. Just the two of us.
I remember when the kids were little and we tried to do date nights. They felt like guilty pleasures but somehow we always ended up talking about the kids. Not today. They were not on my mind today. Today was all about hubby and me. Am I beginning to dream?
Terry, I love your final question because today's post made me think of your recent one on finding your own dream.
ReplyDeleteIs spending a wonderful, romantic afternoon with your husband, without feeling the lack of your kids, the first step to your dreams? Maybe so. I suspect that the dreams you do shape will blend enhancing and rediscovering yourself, your relationship to your husband, and your obviously strong connection to your kids since all of those aspects make up your identity.
Thanks Kristen for you thoughtful encouragement. It means so much to me. This is such an intense time. It so much reflects the feelings I had when I was just starting my family. Full circle, strange! I am so blessed with a husband I love with all my heart. It is so odd to be thinking about my identity again. But I am. And that is a good thing I think...
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I often ask each other when we'll feel like being "us" again. What we'll do when it's just us and we don't constantly have little kids on the brain. I foresee having a very similar 'date" that you and your husband had today. I look forward to that day, even though I love where we are today.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Enjoy where you are, sometimes it seems like it will go on forever...but it is a blink of the eye, a blink.
ReplyDeleteAw, that's so nice! I'm happy for you, and maybe a little envious...
ReplyDeleteMaureen: and you sitting on Martha's Vineyard...I'm green with envy!
ReplyDeleteDungeness crab BLT? Oh my God. I think I'd kill for one.
ReplyDeleteHubs and I escape sometimes for the day and I really don't miss my ankle-biters, either. It's good to remind yourself that you exist without them.