USELESS

I am sitting quietly on our sand colored faux suede sectional with Tom and Kyle. Will is off at a friend’s house and Gordon is obviously missing.

We sit together watching television. Suddenly Tom decides it’s time to pick up Will. He grabs his keys and is out the door.

Kyle quickly maneuvers the remote controls and turns on his brand new Xbox 360. He is ready to kill some Nazi Zombies. I look on sheepishly. His phone begins to vibrate. He takes the call and walks into his room for privacy.

I sit alone on my sand colored faux suede couch watching a still frame of World at War. I sit for a long time.

I have no idea how to turn off the Xbox 360 and replace it with some good old- fashioned television.

I am all alone staring blankly at the rest of my life.

My only choice--to become the world’s oldest woman to be competitive at killing Nazi zombies. Perhaps then I will stay relevant!